Summary of the Three Step Flight Plan
Step 1: Take Stock of Your Emotions
Click here for examples of 60–90 second resets.
- Before reacting, pause and notice what’s happening inside you. Naming your emotion helps shift your brain from reaction mode to reflection mode. This quick reset allows you to respond calmly and intentionally instead of reacting on autopilot. Examples include:
- Angry – Maybe you felt disrespected, rejected, or like your effort didn’t matter. That’s valid.
- Overwhelmed – Too many emotions or demands at once, it’s a lot to carry.
- Hurt – Words or actions cut deeper than expected, especially when you care.
- Disappointed – You hoped it would go differently. That’s real.
- Numb – Sometimes it’s easier to shut down than to feel it all.
- Embarrassed – Especially if it happened in front of others or challenged your sense of control.
- Defensive – You felt attacked or blamed and needed to protect yourself.
- Hopeless – Like no matter what you do, nothing will change.
- Confused – You weren’t sure what just happened or why it escalated.
Click here for examples of 60–90 second resets.
Step 2: Tune In to Your Teen’s Call
Click here for examples of what might be underneath common behaviors.
- Try to look beneath the surface of your teen’s behavior.
- Acting out, shutting down, or snapping back often signals distress or fear, not defiance.
- When you get curious about what’s underneath, hurt, shame, or a need for control, you can respond with empathy instead of escalation.
Click here for examples of what might be underneath common behaviors.
Step 3: Answer the Call (Choose How to Respond)
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- Once you’ve calmed yourself and tuned in, choose one small, intentional step to reconnect.
- This could mean supporting comfort at home, encouraging a peer connection, rebuilding school momentum, or co-creating a brief plan for tough moments.
- Keep it simple, doable, and consistent.
Click here for examples of practical next steps.
